he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize