a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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