hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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