You really coming over, don't trick.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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