standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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