Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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