Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
