drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize