What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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