oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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