So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
