I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
