we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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