wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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