How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
