I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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