God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
