If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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