The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
