Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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