I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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