all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
