dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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