dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
