do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
