I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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