dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
