Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Never joke about your clitoris.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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