I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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