kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
