No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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