Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
