dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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