So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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