Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
