i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
