Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
