Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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