im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize