if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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