Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
