Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
