Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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