Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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