I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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