is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
