so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
