my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
