I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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