You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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