For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
