Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
