I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The Olympian is in my bed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
