I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
