Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
