do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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