the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
