Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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