Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
