I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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