the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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