My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
