You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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