haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
