I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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