her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He did a backflip because drugs
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