you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
