I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
